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- English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England!
- Even though the voices in my head aren't real they have some good ideas!
- Everybody has the right to be stupid but your breaking the rules!
- Everyone likes a little ass, but no one likes a smart ass
- Fat people are harder to kidnap
- First law of science: don't spit into the wind
- Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss
- For all you who talk about me, thanks for making ME the center of YOUR world!
- Girls are like phones, we like to be held and talked to but if you press the wrong buttons you'll be disconnected
- Girls/Boys are great, every boy/girl should own one
- God bless Atheism
- God created man first because you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece!
- Good Girls are Bad girls that don't get caught
- Haggis is a self cleaning meal. Leave it for a while and it will get up and walk away
- Hate: A special kind of love given to people who suck
- Hi, I just noticed you lookin at me across the room..I'll give u a minute to catch ur breath
- I aint guilty, im just not innocent! ;-)
- I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants
- I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!
- I can't come tonight, my tires got dizzy...
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